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Mother’s Day has existed for 118 years and yet its arrival still seems to surprise some dads out there. Instead of buying your man a calendar, or resenting him on Monday, slide these tips into his DMs, or send them to him in the bathroom where he’ll likely spend 45 to 60 minutes today.
Let’s start with an easy one:
Unless she asks for it specifically, do not gift her a bathrobe or a blender
(Or any random kitchen item for that matter). These default mom-gifts are tired, lazy and not what she wants. Not sure what she actually wants? Hold on to your socks for this hot tip, boys: You can ask her (or her best girlfriend).
If you and the kid(s) are cooking: awesome!
Plan it, execute it and clean up after it. Making breakfast in bed is perfect until she comes out for a coffee refill and there is egg on the ceiling and pancake mix on the dog. Bare minimum isn’t the way today, my guy. Clean up your mess.
If she wants to go out to eat: amazing! You plan it, execute it and handle the details
This means you make the reservation (OpenTable and Resy are here for you), you put the kids in the cute brunch outfits, you cut the pancakes, and you let your breakfast get cold because the baby needs to eat first.
Or, if she wants to sleep: You get up with the kids, brew a pot of coffee, leave her a love note (Stumped? Try these from Maisonette), and take those kids out for breakfast yourself. Can be easy-peasy fast food at the park, but the point is that your home is quiet.
Take her out and celebrate her magnificent (very hard) work as a mom
Book a babysitter and plan a date night. If it can’t be a date night on Mother’s Day, gift it to her then anyway (old school coupon, cute card, etc).
DO NOT make a reservation or plan a date night without ALSO booking a babysitter. Without booking the babysitter, your date night is still work for her. Ask for the babysitter’s phone number but book them yourself, or book with www.chicagosupersitters.com and the agency will do the work for you.
Take inventory of all the moms in your life
That includes: Your sisters, your SILs, your solo-mom friend, your own mom, your ex-wife, neighbors, step-moms, all moms.
Take your kids to get (or help them make) a card for their mom even if you aren’t still in a relationship with her. Help them love their mom even if you don’t anymore and do it without any shit talk.
AND, while we’re at it, your kids’ mom should not be buying all the grandma cards and sending all the grandma gifts. You should be buying a card for your own mom at the very least. This should need no explanation.
You can do this
All of this is too overwhelming and you have no idea where to start?: Well, these are your kids, and if spending a day with your own kids solo, or buying their mom a gift feels overwhelming, then you better celebrate their mom even harder.
Let this be your guiding principle for the day: As the dad, nothing should be done for you on Mother’s Day. Step up, call a babysitter, get creative, clean up after yourself, and generally just make a bigger effort than a standard day. And at the end of this day, you should be tired, sticky, probably touched-out, and ready to fall into bed. You might say, you should feel like a mom.
Dads, if you can draft and manage multiple fantasy football teams, you can get Mother’s Day right. It takes effort, thought and planning, and digging into the details — things moms do every single day that go unnoticed. She is a queen, a rockstar, a badass, and a complex living human that deserves a fucking day off. Again: Bare minimum isn’t the way today, my guy. You got this.
