In the spirit of a recent Pluck column, here’s a transcript of how conversations about my new job have been going: Friend: Hey, how’s your new job? Me: Awesome! Friend: I can’t imagine doing all of that travel! Where have you been? Me: My first week was in Dallas for training. Friend: Uh-huh. Me: Then […]
Raising my rebellious girl
My daughter Ida is, well … how should I say this? My daughter is assertive. She’s got a lot of words for her age and usually has no problem expressing herself. If she wants that sandwich you’re eating, doesn’t want to share her ball or if she isn’t in the mood for a hug or kiss, you’ll […]
Piercing a Baby
Dear Vered, My husband has started to insist, as though there were never any question, that we’ll be piercing our newborn baby girl’s ears shortly after her birth. Apparently, his culture does this and it’s considered normal. It’s not my culture, and something about this rubs me the wrong way, but I’m having a hard […]
Toddler Transcript
Some moments in parenting are so perfectly hilarious that they really deserve an audience. At the very least, a transcript of events should be made available for those interested parties. In this vein, I present the following interaction between my beloved two-year-old and myself from recent events: The scene opens with Mother sautéing vegetables (fine, bacon) […]
‘The Avengers’ delivers punch of Whedon-y fun
This may sound like an insult, but “The Avengers” is about as good as it could reasonably be expected to be. It’s a big summer movie, it’s got a huge cast, and it’s essentially serving as a sequel for about four different movies. There are a lot of story lines that have to be worked […]
Crappy Mother’s Day, xo Time Magazine
Are You Mom Enough? Are you kidding me? Excuse me, what I meant to say is ARE YOU F*&#ING KIDDING ME!? You’re, like, profoundly bad at giving presents, Time. This just really sums it up, doesn’t it? The way the mainstream media talks about motherhood? Imaginary so-called “Mommy Wars” designed to turn valid personal choices into fake […]
That One Time When My Mom Was a Lesbian
My parents divorced when I was 5. Afterwards, my mother fell in love with, and moved in with a woman. Needless to say, things changed quite a bit, and I haven’t ever written about it publicly. I was in elementary school when the phrase, “That’s so gay,” came to fruition. I remember kids saying it, […]
Missing/in Progress
I read this great piece over at Ask Moxie today, and deeply identified with it. I am so grateful to be experiencing progress right now – a realization that after a preceding 2+ year stretch of stagnation always brings a smile to my face. One of the things that shocked me after my daughter was born was a sense […]
You also used to be a child. Too bad now you’re just an asshole.
Yesterday, Teddy and I went to Target to pick up a few things we needed. While I was perusing down an aisle, a little girl, maybe about 2 or so, started crying – wailing, really. She was throwing some kind of temper tantrum. It was not a pleasant sound. Despite her mother’s attempts to console […]
Mama Multiple Personality Syndrome
This week, I had a dream that woke me up in a cold-sweat. I was in our apartment, when a rattling wind swept down the hall. It set into motion two identical baby swings that sat nearby, the seats rocking to and fro by themselves. Then, the two televisions that dreamily appeared in my living […]