What the Bridesmaids Bash taught me

Mile-High Club by Karen Hawkins
The inaugural Bridesmaids Bash bar crawl wasn’t just a boozy tribute to the taffeta monsters lurking at the back of our closets (it was definitely that), it was also a valuable learning experience.
 
Here are just some of the insights we gained during our 3-hour trolley tour:
 
1) You can take the bridesmaids dress out of the wedding, but you can’t take the wedding out of the bridesmaids dress. Even the least offensive bridesmaids dresses looked like just that: minimally offensive bridesmaids dresses. Out of the context of a wedding ceremony, the dresses just felt … obvious. It’s one thing to wear them walking down the aisle of a church or hall. Apparently, it’s quite another to wear them walking down the aisle of the 22 Clark bus.
 
2) Real men wear pink lace. The Bridesmaids Bash Garter for Worst Dress went to our illustrious web designer Aaron, who rocked this-here number as a befitting nod to a “Saturday Night Live” sketch by “Bridesmaids” writer Kristen Wiig. Yes, those are doll hands.
 
3) Our advice columnist has some PIPES. Vered Siegel of Forest for the Trees fame may not, at first blush, look like the kind of woman who can rock some Donna Summer, but trust me when I say we bowed before her “Last Dance.” Well, damn.
 
4) Large-group karaoke is golden. One woman in a bridesmaids dress belting out “Like a Virgin”? Ironic, at best. A bevy of women (and men) in bridesmaids dresses belting out “Like a Virgin”? Priceless.
 
5) Trolleys rock. To the drunken, screaming hordes I’ve spent years judging for rolling across town “whoo”ing out of trolley windows like schoolchildren on a mass sugar high, I take it all back. It turns out there’s something about riding around in one of those things that makes you want to scream, wave and otherwise make a giant fool of yourself. Admittedly, the signature Rebellious Magazine cocktails may have had something to do with it.

 
May you use this knowledge Rebelliously,
Karen
 
 
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Karen Hawkins is the Founder and Rebelle in Chief of Rebellious Magazine. She is a recovering mainstream media reporter and editor who wants to thank her former boss for naming the online magazine she's always wanted to start when he called her “Rebellious” for taking too many weekends off. When she isn't instigating a media Rebellion, she's thanking her lucky starlets she gets to do whatever she wants on weekends.