On February 13, 2017, Rebellious Magazine published the first-ever Just the Tip post, my love and sex advice column.
In this column, you will find interviews with sexuality researchers and educators, as well as compassionate responses to anonymous questions.
Just the Tip isn’t your typical “Cosmo-style” sex advice column. Although you will find juicy how-to’s — like how to have better public sex or how to ethically look for a three-way — the purpose behind the column is much deeper.
As a queer, kinky, gender fluid, polyamorous person, one of my goals for this column is to normalize conversations around non-mainstream, marginalized sexual identities and relationships.
So many sites treat anything that’s not about cis-gendered, monogamous heterosexual relationships (or vanilla sex) as click-bait. And I think 90% of my column is just reassuring people that they’re okay — cause society is real good at telling us we’re not.
The most common question or sentiment I hear from folks that write me is, “Am I ok?”
That’s what I want this column to do for you: to reassure you … all of you … that as long as what you’re doing is honest and consensual, you’re okay! And maybe to give you some helpful tips, as well.
While pieces of your identity, your relationship structures, or your sexual interests may be uncommon, they should never be treated as “weird” or sensationalized.
So, if you have a sex or dating question and you don’t know who else to ask: try me. I won’t think you’re weird. Unless you want me to. I kinda like weird.
My second goal is to explore in-depth underreported sexuality and identity topics. Things like intimacy after trauma, sexual health with chronic pelvic pain, or sexuality post-menopause.
These are topics that many of us deal with, and we don’t have enough conversations around them.
Send questions to justthequestions@gmail.com.
Just the Tip Highlights
Here are some of my favorite articles from my column:
- Rewriting Sexual Scripts
- Has Practicing Kink Made Me Sadistic?
- How to Safely Explore Submission After Sexual Assault
- Navigating Sexy Times with Trans and Non-Binary Partners
- Is It Better to Label Your Relationships?
- The Ableism of Hookup Culture
- Do I Orgasm?
Feminist Sex Ed:
A sibling to the column is Rebellious Magazine’s Feminist Sex Ed section, which I help write and edit. Check out our premier Guide to Reclaiming Pleasurable Sex with Chronic Pelvic Pain.
Have a topic you’d love for us to cover? Or run a business that aligns with this column’s values? (We are looking for new sponsors!) Either way, contact me at jera@jerabrown.com.
Learn More About Jera
I’m a freelance writer, fetish boxer, pro-Domme, and of course a feminist! I maintain a personal blog, Church of the Scarlet Letter, about being a queer, non-monogamous, Buddhist Christian. (Yeah, there’s a lot to unpack.) And you can find more of my work around the web, like this piece about pony play.
Want to Contribute to or Sponsor Just The Tip?
If you’re a therapist or sex educator, I’m always looking for guest columnists! Email me at jera@jerabrown.com