The seemingly forever presidential election has confirmed the level of disdain and disrespect that many have for women in general, and even more that they have for Black women. The language, tone, images, insults, tropes, lies, stereotypes, belittling, dismissing, and demeaning are impossible to pretend don’t exist, yet necessary to ignore and counteract.
The underlying message or implication that has been told, implied, or outright said is that women have no worth until and unless they give birth. And they aren’t mothers except to biological children. And Black women aren’t wives or mothers. They are “baby mamas” “jezebels” tramps, bitches. Black women aren’t smart. Black women aren’t qualified. Black women ascended because they slept with someone. Black women aren’t “true” Americans. Black women shouldn’t get angry. Black women shouldn’t have joy — and they certainly shouldn’t laugh. Black women unfairly benefited from set-aside programs, and took away opportunities from more “deserving” White men.
The drumbeat of insults implies: “You don’t belong.” You aren’t qualified.” “You don’t deserve to be respected.” Even those who have Ivy League degrees, who are attorneys, doctors, corporate executives, business owners, elected officials, reporters for major media outlets, or literal royalty, are called “low IQ,” “slow,” a “disgrace,” “nasty.” The attitude seems to be that Black women belong only in spaces where they are silent and subservient and have no control over anything, including their own bodies.
By contrast, this presidential election has illustrated that a certain type of White man can do what he wants, whenever he wants, to whomever he wants. He follows no rules, cheats people, breaks laws, chronically lies, incites violence, sexually assaults people. He navigates the world with zero regard for those who don’t look like, talk like, think like, and live exactly like him, and he never faces any consequences for his words or actions – he is instead showered with adoration and adulation.
Some people have tried to convince me to ignore the nastiness and instead chastise myself for being “too sensitive,” “too serious,” and “overreacting.” In other words, I’m told to invalidate any emotional response I might have to the incredible levels of hypocrisy and double standards that are in my face every day. Yet, what has been displayed is how even when Black women outsmart, outclass and outperform everyone else, they still get belittled and considered “hysterical” and “shrill.”
We built this country. We raised this country.
No matter how low the insults, how frequent the criticisms, how extreme the levels of qualifications there are, Black women always need to brush off, blow off and deal with it all while keeping a smile on our faces. We don’t have the luxury to ever show anger, because that is yet another stereotype of Black women. We have to be twice as smart, twice as strong, have twice the grace, and twice the endurance, to barely get in the door.
Sometimes we get exhausted and realize that taking the high road can lead to silent and invisible breakdowns. However, we remind ourselves that we stand on the shoulders of those who worked the fields, toiled in the factories, cleaned other people’s houses, took care of other people’s children, cooked other people’s food, and all other kinds of backbreaking, low-paying work so we could run this race now. And in the midst of our generational struggle, we found a way to take care of ourselves, families and communities. We built this country. We raised this country. While some safe spaces and programs have recently been dismantled or destroyed, we will continue to find creative ways to make sure we are physically, emotionally, economically OK. And right now, it is clear that we will need to take care of ourselves — as we always have.
Black women are strong. Stronger than most people might ever admit. We have no choice if we are to put one foot in front of the other. Despite the vile language lobbed at us and the frequent dismissal of our brilliance, talent and accomplishments, we continue to fight and thrive. We start organizations like Black Voters Matter and Win With Black Women, which was the first organization to host a massive Zoom call in support of Vice President Kamala Harris that drew over 44,000 people. We educate ourselves, build businesses, uphold the law, run for office, speak up, canvas, organize, fight, and we win.
Black women have a long history of being our own biggest advocates and cheerleaders. And we will continue to cover ourselves because that’s what it has taken for us to survive this American experiment for 400 years and counting. We work hard. We stand on faith. We have fortitude. We have grit. We cannot be broken. Our mothers, grandmothers, great-grandmothers and other foremothers endured much worse and survived. We have their spirits within us and will stand tall where we belong, at the top, or wherever else we choose to be.