Thirty years ago, abortion was my entry to reaching across the political divide. In the early 1990s, I started a Common Ground group to bring together pro-choice and pro-life people who wanted to engage in dialogue. I was angry at the pro-life activists who shouted at me and my coworkers and the patients we served as we ran the gauntlet into the doctor’s office that provided abortions several days each week. I was exhausted by the endless pro-choice coalition strategizing and organizing. I felt certain that my anger and exhaustion wasn’t helping the women I was trying to support.
After hearing a story on NPR about a group in St. Louis made up of pro-life and pro-choice people who were having conversations with each other, I was intrigued. I tracked them down, and they sent me materials and newspaper articles and a videotape of a news story about their project (this was pre-internet). I reached out to the director of the pro-life crisis pregnancy center in my town and shared the idea with her. She was game to give it a try, and we invited our networks to gather at the library to talk with each other.
Common Ground provided an opportunity to hear people talk about their views with authenticity and complexity. I listened to pro-life feminists and pro-choice Catholics and other varied standpoints. I agreed with some things expressed by people on “the other side,” and I didn’t see eye to eye with everything I heard from people whose political position presumably aligned with my own. It became obvious to me that most people’s views on abortion are far more complex than either movement’s labels and slogans communicate.
Common Ground was a transformational experience for me. Although it didn’t change my stance on reproductive rights, it did shift my feelings about people who disagreed with me. Understanding how others came to their views helped me recognize the sensitivity and reason that informed their conclusions. People did say things that struck me as shortsighted, hypocritical, or unsympathetic; however, it was clear to me that this was true of people on my own side as well. Ultimately, listening with the intent to understand expanded my limited perception of people who disagreed with me as I came to appreciate their humanity and complexity.
I’ve carried that experience with me through the past several decades, into my work on LGBTQ psychology, into my work training law enforcement, into conversations about religion, the economy, diversity, and candidates for public office. Common Ground sparked my curiosity and taught me the importance of listening to people share where they’re coming from. Ultimately, it set me on the trajectory that led to my work on bridging political divides.
Excerpt from Facing the Fracture: How to Navigate the Challenges of Living in a Divided Nation by Tania Israel, published by Greenleaf Book Group, August 13, 2024.
Listen to fan favorite Dr. Israel discuss the book on Of Course I’m Not OK: The Podcast, and read the full transcript of her conversation with hosts Karen Hawkins and Katie Morell.