The other night, Jeff and I were trying to get Teddy down to sleep. We’d rock him and cuddle him, and he’d drift happily off to dreamland. But the moment we put him down — slowly, carefully, like we were strategically placing a nuclear warhead — he’d pop awake, like a cruel baby jack-in-the-box. The first time, it was cute. All the times after that just made me want to lay down on the floor and cry, a puddle of parent-goo, waving the white flag of surrender.
Sound familiar? If you need to lament with other parents over the hours you’ve spent rocking and shushing and picking that toddler up again for the 50th time and walking her back to bed, then I’ve got a sympathetic ear. Adam Mansbach, author of the bestselling “Go the Fuck to Sleep,” is reading his sidesplitting children’s book at 7 p.m., Monday, June 18 at Young Chicago Authors, 1180 N. Milwaukee Avenue.
Here’s a refreshing excerpt:
The eagles who soar through the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run and creep.
I know you’re not thirsty. That’s bullsh*t. Stop lying.
Lie the f*ck down, my darling, and sleep.
It’s the first and only reading Mansbach will be doing in the Second City. Copies of the book will be on sale, and proceeds will benefit YCA’s programming. Perhaps a belated Father’s Day gift? Or just a little something to read to yourself when Junior is driving you batty with wakefulness.