What not to ask an unmarried woman...

what not to ask an unmarried woman

…unless you want to get punched in the genitals.

Question, followed by the Answer the unmarried woman* wants to give but doesn’t because she was raised right. Just know that she’s mentally punching you in the genitals.

Q: Do you think you’ll ever get married?
A: Do you think your relationship is making that option look attractive? Cuz, well, it’s not. But I’m picky and don’t find endless public bickering attractive.

Q: Wow, another new boy/girl-friend? I don’t know how you keep them all straight.
A: I know, right? I was just thinking the same thing about your spouse.

Q: Don’t you get lonely?
A: Not with all of the voices in my head, I don’t. Uh oh, one of them is telling me to punch you in the genitals. Shhhh…listen closely, and you can hear her. Come closer…

Q: I can’t imagine being single — shudder — how do you stand it?
A: I have a great & supportive circle of friends, a membership to Early to Bed and a LIFE.

Q: Don’t you want kids?
A: Only if it means I can double my wardrobe. Do they come in my size?

Q: Don’t you want to settle down?
A: Like you did? Oh, wait, you said “settle down,” not “settle.” Sorry. Um, no.

Q: Don’t you think your girlfriend will be offended reading this?
A: If she likes it, she can put a ring on it.

In Rebellion & comin’ out swingin’,
Karen

*Unmarried means just that, not married. This goes for single women of any/all sexual orientations and/or identities who are casually dating,** in relationships but not married, divorced, etc.

**Casually dating also includes plain ol’ f*cking around.

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Karen Hawkins is the Founder and Rebelle in Chief of Rebellious Magazine. She is a recovering mainstream media reporter and editor who wants to thank her former boss for naming the online magazine she's always wanted to start when he called her “Rebellious” for taking too many weekends off. When she isn't instigating a media Rebellion, she's thanking her lucky starlets she gets to do whatever she wants on weekends.

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